The Cry of Missing Infancy...

The cry of missing infancy

Malia had a cry that was half a tantrum, for having been corrected and half a missing infancy.  Being in the infant room there is a yearning to return to the familiar condition of being cared for.  If they are not impressed upon that they must serve others, they will continue to use the resources of the family without care. 

Caidence seemed alerted to her problem and quickly gave comforting pats to her little friend.  We aren't babies anymore, the pats seemed to say.

Caidence has an ambitious spirit and her eyes are always looking for the next hill to climb, while Malia is the more romantic of the two.  She is nurturing fond memories and storing them up.

The sharing drills were funny between them.   THey don't fully understand the drill yet.  Having a beginning and an end of sharing time might help their understanding a bit.  If a little princess doesn't learn the reality of disappointment she won't be able to judge the weight of her words upon others.   

Everyone has to submit to a higher authority.  It hurts when you don't get your way.  You might cry, you mustn't have a tantrum.  Submitting to people is of far less consequences than submitting to God.  Gods ways are far above our ways and his judgments past finding out, but there are eternal consequences.  Because of this truth, I believe spankings of greatest importance to the most affluent and Royal, to whom their words will have the greatest consequence to others.   Avoid Hell, at all cost is the expression.  When we spank them soundly, we give them a standard of pain that they would only inflict when absolutely necessary.

I would have spanked Malia, were she my child for not wanting to listen to Ms Janet and disrespectful, exaggerated expression.  I might have been wrong, to have placed upon her my impression.  I don't think so though.   Her mother is right to use the term, Get in control!  That is the goal.  Getting the emotions in control.  Sometimes in daycare they spin out of control and all of the emotions ie. Missing mommy and anger of the situation and the occasion which caused the problem get all squeezed together and can't be put into words.  More understanding is needed to untangle the emotional element from the conflict itself, or no lessons can be really learned.  They are conflagrated together into a mesh of "I miss mommy".

Where is Gollum in my life?

Is he inside or outside of myself?

The internal inclinations to sins that would take you down into a dehumanized existence.  The deep resources of the soul that takes even the good food of Gods word and seeks to wrest it in your soul to your own demise.  Gollum sits there and seeks to reason away the word of God that feeds life and make it a noose of death.  

Some people might take you there, by their reasonings outside of the Word.  More often it is your own heart, which because of lack of Godly fellowship and correct teachings links ancient heresies together and tries to consume it for life profit.  It is unfair for consumption and should be reproved and forsaken immediately, or sad is the state of the heart.

Dont get stuck attempting to work out the riddles of unbelievers hearts!

My Grandma Hanst and me...

A student of 106

Mu had legends attached to her name.  They are trying to canonize her and I somewhat agree.. But, growing up, I wasn't that impressed with the grown ups who were her children or the foster children.  I was their very junior and I simply couldn't stand them,except for Aunt Helen.  I am impressed now that I have inadvertently attempted to imitate her faith, so to speak and haven't accomplished much in the process.  I analyzed and criticized the whole lot of them in my mind, for this and that flaw and wrong emphasis that I thought they had passed along to us.

My mother was considered the black sheep, for having embraced male headship and leadership in the home.  My father recognized her support for his leadership of the children.  There is hardly a time when I ask my mother that she doesn't remind me to defer to the tradition of the in laws. That is how we were raised and that is what my mother says all the time.  Let the children have all of the benefits of their fathers experience.  I hate that about her, sometimes.

She was raised completely maternal.  Mother was the matriarch and she was completely unchallenged by any man. Pop was gone just about, by the time I met Mu.  But I don't think it would have been any different had he been the father of all those children, instead of just one.  The matriarchy was insisted upon and no man could challenge it.

My parents conviction on the subject isolated them from both sides of the family.  Feminism was completely the culture of my extended family and no man could insist on anything without ridicule.  I know he didn't just open his mouth to try to insist on something was the laughed off response.    It was hard to respect the men, because emir paultry attempts were thought infantile.  I don't know if that was the culture more broadly, as African Americans, but that was the gospel according to Mu.

They were impeccably dressed and hair straightened and braided to the tightest inch on he scalp.  This was the highest conviction.  More than anything else people must look their best at all times.  My parents rejected this philosophy first and for most.  We looked how we looked.  Getting the most skills under the belt, as early in the morning was more important than spending all day doing hair and pressing clothes.  It wasn't playing.  It was skill building.  Boddens get ready quickly and out to do stuff.  Getting the things done is of more importance than how you look doing it.

106 had as many children in it as we did.  They played sports and danced and sang, like we did, but they looked amazing when they did it.  They were the standard that everybody else wanted to be.